Latest(or not) from theonion.

Classic.

My One Emo Post

Pride and confidence. Sincerity and Leverage. Being above it all and Being inherently stuck in the middle of it all. Self-awareness and Delusion. Knowledge and The beginning of ignorance. Reasoning and realizing that it always requires more. More knowledge, which begets more ignorance. Greater self-awareness, only to be caught in self-delusion. A higher view, from which you end up feeling more implicated with the imperfection you see. More veracity, to reach duplicitous ends. Is there truly a place of perfect completeness?

Dance Off

The following was played just before my corporate strategy class. Hilarious stuff.

Business Major, Well and Proper

I realize that it has been a while since I last recorded inane verbatim on this space. Forgive the tardiness, but life in New York and settling into classes back in school have kept me rather busy. Since starting school, I have come to realize that there really isn't much difference between spending 8 hours a day walking from cupcake store to cupcake store and spending the same amount of time walking from class to class while doing case readings and replying emails in between. In fact, I have rather come to enjoy it. Constantly being on top of things, and actually having things to be on top of (for lack of a better expression), gives me a sense of fulfillment, although I know that it's an artificial one and that alone will not be able to sustain me.

I have also come to the conclusion that under the current weather conditions, it is not worth being a business student here. I have spent the last 4 days wearing a suit under a trenchcoat /peacoat, and by golly are those 3 layers excessively insufficient. Walking to class when it is -23 outside requires alot more insulation than that. I'll have to gorge myself to the weight of an average american and build up a layer of blubber thick enough to insulate a london bus in order to keep warm. Now imagine what it would take to get sunny old Singapore to freeze over. Well, after that happens, stretch your imagination a little more and create a situation where the Singapore that has frozen over is in actuality as hot and humid as it originally was at O degrees celcius. Imagine it going down another 30 degrees again to get it to freeze over once more. You get the idea of what I have to deal with everyday now.

Being the analytical and sharp business major that I am, I have come to realize as well, that racism nothing but the action of treating nominal data as ordinal data or in worse-case scenarios, ratio level data. However, the assumption here of course, is that there are truly no desirable qualites that are unique to the subjects belonging to the different categories that have been formed and designated as nominal that might provide a basis of comparison. Kudos to statistical analysis.

To all drunken mistakes, hook-ups of delusion and times that we wished we had chosen to stay home instead. dayumm.



Memories of MOS, a buddy and a certain transverstite. Good times.

Words of wisdom

Word of advice for the day: Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Anticipating Thanksgiving

On Tuesday next week, I'll finally be moving this lethargic lump of meat out of the little college town of Bloomington, first to Indy and then to Chicago. I must say, I'm quite excited to finally be in a city once more. This city-crossing, pavement-pounding pair of legs are well ready for some action.I'm looking forward, as well, to be spending time with old friends and black Friday! No prizes for guessing where and when most of this year's Christmas shopping is going to be done.

Bloomington is starting to get really cold. It's -8 outside now, and it's barely even winter. Leaves are still on the trees and I still have to transverse the campus to get to classes at 8 in the morning. I'll be desperately needing a pair of boots really soon I think. I promise there'll be pictures of what I believe will be an unbelievable week ahead up soon.

Since desperation seems to be the recurring theme in this post, it should also be known that I gave myself a haircut tonight. Having a permanently shielded field of vision and hair constantly poking at your eyes is not the best way to lead one's life. I trimmed the front and sides and trusted Olivia with the back(since I obviously wasn't able to see anything). It looks decent I think, but I really can't say much for the back since I am again, unable to see the back of my head. I think I just might be able to hold up to new york to get a haircut.

Hohoho

In The Know: Should We Be Shaming Obese Children More?

Boremington

I know that this is not the best way to start of my college life here, but perhaps you'll understand after I reveal to you exactly how I have spent the past 2 days here.
Wednesday-Walked 30 min to get to downtown for a relatively more decent meal and 30 min to get back to the room.
Sat in car for 40 min from 11 onwards for lack of a better place to hang out(everything apart from the hospital's a&e dept is closed(on second thoughts, that might be closed as well)).
Thursday-Woke up at 930.
Looked for a place to have brunch at at 11. Most shops were still closed. Substandard sandwich which I did not finish.
Went back to bed from 12 to 3pm
Played squash from 3 to 5pm
Typed out inane blog entry at 706pm
Shall go to have pizza for dinner at 8pm

Ok, fine I saw a wild fox running through the grounds as I was walking back from downtown last night and it was really quite magnificent. One silver lining in the oppressive cloud that I fear might be iub. But I'm saving judgment for after the whole rhythm of school kicks in.

Oh and people are quite nice.

p.s. I'm singaporean, not korean damnnit!

Why We Love the Irish

I was walking down Fisherman's wharf today and saw this letter hanging at the window of an Irish gift shop. Hilarious much =)




Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well.

You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.

I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.

We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on your Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Your loving Mum

P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.

GTRs

While moving along the busy streets of Singapore today, I came across no less than 3 different GTRs, each sighting being no less than within 5 minutes of each other. I think it is a sign. What exactly it might be a sign of, or for, i have no idea. But I believe it's somewhere along the lines of -Ernest, you should get a GTR. That however, would shatter my grantaurismo dreams, but leave me with 60000 dollars more and a little ahead anyone in a maserati.

Totally inane entry this, but I just felt obliged to share a little about this Japanese wonder here. In case you just just just might be interested, this baby goes from 0 to the century in 3.5 seconds and can hit 193 mph. It has got as well, 480 horses under the bonnet and costs only usd$72000!

June

My my, time certainly passes very quickly as a free person! Here's what's up in the month of June

1)The school holidays are here! I don't have to go to school to attempt to educate into the youth of our nation for a whole month! Unfortunately, that also means a total cessation of income for the month. That's alright though, because i'm spending my time planning for and working towards-

2)The ACJC Choir's 20th Anniversary Thanksgiving Service! In the off chance that you are someone who was from the choir reading this space who still has not indicated interest in attending the above-mentioned event, please do come for it! It has been a good one week with great company, hanging out with the jamie and gina everyday for the past week(i'm typing this from na's dining table).

3)Mario Kart is damnnn fun!=)

4)My eye hurts.

5)Mr Obama, congratulations. As a soon-to-be alien in your country, i look forward to the positive changes that you have promised in your campaign. Change we can believe in, and the continuation of brilliant brilliant video games such as grand theft auto

Not So Sexyback

Enough said.

Keyaki

It's now 10:08 pm. I am still dastardly full from lunch which ended at 2:30 pm, which goes to show how unhealthy i have been gorging myself. Keyaki was an absolute treat as always.I will miss the parentals terribly when i head over to the states in 2 months. The FOOD, the FOOD!!
No I kid. Of course, I'll miss them for other reasons than them wining and dining me.=)

t's just a pity that they no longer have the nice white lollipops with colourful streaks running through them though. Serving tootsie pops at the door really really does not cut it.(priorities in looking for a top-notch jap restaurant huh? the lollipops. =p)

Jap's out of the menu for the next 2 weeks or so for sure, but i do look forward to a couple more visits before I leave all of these behind me and live the life of a poor broke college kid in Indiana where I'll probably struggle to even find white rice, let alone decent robotoyaki. Perhaps the thing I'll miss most about the place? Ah Seng and his highly impressive knife spinning skills over the teppenyaki hotplate.


p.s. Ah Seng, if you do read this for some unfathomable reason, would you be so kind as to teach me how to spin knives like you do? I really don't half mind being a teppenyaki chef when i grow up.

May

So this is what my life has been revolving around since leaving the army in April.=)

1) Teaching kids at a certain neighbourhood secondary school. The kids aren't too bad really, and some of their antics crack me up. Ask if you want to know the details. I shall not expose myself to the risk of getting fired and being featured on the new paper as has happened to another sad relief teacher.

2) Squash! I met Denise the other day and was reminiscing of how Kevin used to whoop my ass at it. Now that he has died somewhere in Sydney however, the games go something like this: 9-6. 9-5, 9-3, 9-3, 9-2, 9-2, 9-0, 9-4, 9-2, 9-0. Ernest wins Liang Lin. So yes. It gets a little tedious after you master how exactly to get him off his game(or lack thereof) really. Just mention a certain breakfast cereal and the score plummets, as you can see from the listing above.

3) I watched my first movie this year today and it was a pseudo chick-flick. Fortunately, What Happens in Vegas was nothing like the absolutely mind-bogglingly stupid 13 going on 30, where fairy dust magically appears on one's doll house and transforms Jennifer Garner into a 30 year-old.

4) Choir. I am most glad to say that the pieces seem to be coming together.=)

5) I was talking to a certain someone in France and she admitted that she's FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME!! Heartbreak Hotel, that. But i don't mind, long as she DOES spend the 13 days we've got before i leave kinda sorta together with me/us.=p (You, yes, YOU. You know I'm talking about you miss waikiki.-_-)

6) Mother's day is around the corner! Another trip down to Keyaki seems in order. I do miss the robotoyaki.

7) Would anyone want to contribute to Habitat for Humanity?

8) I saw these 2 pairs of shorts today, checked, and approximately 3 inches above the knee. And I am strongly fighting the urge to buy them. They're from zara, so they're kinda generic, but yes i do like them so i don't care.=\ It's highly unfortunate that there are no pictures of them that can be displayed here.

9) Oh and dear mel, I have found your woven belts. Dutti has them, but I think that the guy's collection looks better. As for your need for extra-long ones, heh.=p

Ok that's all for this entry! I'm going to try to lose a little of the tummy before the overseas kids all return and organise sentosa outings and I kinda sorta haveta expose mr bagel here. Toodles!

Idiocy, Re-affirmed

JP: I was watching Horton the Elephant and I started thinking about you during the bit where Horton started flapping his ears around under water to help him move about.

LL: Hieh hieh hieh (sarcastic laughter followed by the rolling of eyes)

JP: Then he started spraying water through his nose......

With friends like these, who needs to seek entertainment anywhere else?

Oh, and should the unthinkable ever ever happen, I believe we just might be eternally indebted to them for removing the African elephant off the list of endangered species.

Periphescence

One rarely comes across something that is both this asthetically pleasing and functional, no, not just functional, but downright aggressive at the same time. I have never been a great fan of Alfa Romeos. If one were to plot a chart showing the number of times an alfa would have gotten you to your destination vs. the number of times your alfa would have broken down attempting to get you to your destination, it would look something like this:

We're talking about percentage figures of course. HOWEVER, before we get carried away by highly biased and inaccurate statistics, let me draw your attention once more, to the picture of the Alfa Romeo 8C Competezione which begins this entry. If this lovingly crafted sculpture of metal(fine, carbon fibre) and leather fails to get you into a state of periphescence, i don't know what will. With a monstrous 4.7 litre, 450 horsepower furnace that propels you from 0 to the 60 in under 4 seconds, Alfisti* all over the world are heralding the advent of the new chosen one that will once again reinstate the pride that came with the glorious racing days of old.


*Alfisti-a term denoting the fanatical followers of the Italian marque

On Happiness and Retards

And so begins this indescribably sweet period of my life as a soldier - the block off. There are a few things that i'll have to settle during this period though.

1) Getting my new passport done

2) Going down to the American embassy to get my student visa approved

3) Making sure there are openings for me to teach at either barker or st hildas primary


Other than those trifle(fine, not so trifle) matters, this would describe the way i'm feeling now.

To all you nasty people out there, no, I don't feel particularly dopey or defective. I. am. just. insanely. happy. after two of the most inane years of my life.=)

If I wanted to claim the label of being the resident retard, I would have put up a picture that looked something like this.

Ok. Now run.